Where and what is home?

This isn't my first time as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I was in Africa from 2008-2010 in a tiny sub-Saharan country called Lesotho. At time, it was really, really tough. No plumbing, electricity, very little meat, internet only about once a month…. Isolated, lonely. There were times I wanted to give up and go home to California… to safe, known Folsom. But slowly, something happened. I fell in love with the youth, my host family, my village…and they came to slowly love me. (So I’d like to thinkJ) Lesotho and my little village of Ha Nkalimeng became home. And then I had to leave. Unexpectedly.  My heart broke just a little…ok, maybe a lot. I would probably never again see the people I loved and who loved me. So I went home feeling isolated, lonely. For the next 2 years I struggled to find my place, tried to figure out what to do. I grieved for the people in Lesotho. And slowly, I began to realize that I loved the youth and my family (Hi Staffords) and my friends who had seen me and put up with me through so much and my church and the people in my village of Folsom. And for some strange reason, they already loved me. Even despite the fact that I was grieving for another place… another people. A long time ago they “gave me a solid shelter that I take with me for my entire life wherever I go.” And then I left. Not unexpectedly, but I left to start anew here in Azerbaijan. And at times it’s been tough. However I do find myself falling in love with the youth, my host family, my large village of Sheki….

I’m sure that when I leave here in 2 years I will grieve the people I leave behind. But its wonderful… a blessing… to know that I will go back to the people that helped create that shelter, which I will carry with me wherever I go.

My host mom in Lesotho

My host sister (in white) and neighbors in Lesotho

The amazing family I live with in Folsom

The awesome youth I got to volunteer with.

The youth in Azerbaijan

My host family

OLD VS NEW

Azerbaijan is a country which is in transition… so it seems. I stopped at shop the other day to purchase a few things. There was an electronic cash register. The numbers were blinking at me brightly. But the shop keeper didn’t use the register. She used and old, beat up wooden abacus. Do you remember those? Some days when I pass one of the many local meat shops during my walk to the university, I see a cow tied up in front of the store on the sidewalk. Then later during my walk home the live cow is gone replaced by a fresh haunch of meat hanging on a hook and the cow’s head sitting in front of it. There are internet cafes, wireless internet and smart phones. (Which I've been told has become more common fairly recently) There is public transport with 30 year old buses that are falling apart and sometimes you can even see the ground moving through the holes on the floor. There are sleek, shiny nice new cars zipping around. There is the older generation of people who are trying to hold onto and practice traditional Azerbaijani ways. (And, 20 years post Soviet rule, there are younger people trying to recover those traditions also) And of course, there is a younger generation that wants to see the world and learn all the new technology. There is the capital city of Baku which is very western, and my little city of Sheki which is paved with cobblestones.

Baku

Sheki

 Azerbaijan is a country which has experienced new development and technology. But some people are afraid of losing the old ways. Some talk to me about old traditions that define them that are no longer being practiced. They are afraid of development swallowing the traditional ways.

Technology brings opens people up to the outside world. Good new practices come through contact with everyone else….and sometimes bad new practices infect the good of old ways. I am 7000 miles away from home and I’m grateful to new technology that allows me to “chat” and see peoples photos and know what is going on in their lives. I love being able to use Skype to talk to people for free face to face. But when I am home, sometimes I use these ways to communicate with the people I love because it is easier… I am lazy. I lose the fact that looking into a person’s face and seeing how they really are is more important than the convenience of technology. And I do admit, sometimes receiving a letter that I can hold onto and look at… knowing that the person took the time to write it and mail it… that can be priceless!!

Old vs new…. Which one is better?  I think both are valuable and can help us grow in our humanity. What do you think?