Where and what is home?

This isn't my first time as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I was in Africa from 2008-2010 in a tiny sub-Saharan country called Lesotho. At time, it was really, really tough. No plumbing, electricity, very little meat, internet only about once a month…. Isolated, lonely. There were times I wanted to give up and go home to California… to safe, known Folsom. But slowly, something happened. I fell in love with the youth, my host family, my village…and they came to slowly love me. (So I’d like to thinkJ) Lesotho and my little village of Ha Nkalimeng became home. And then I had to leave. Unexpectedly.  My heart broke just a little…ok, maybe a lot. I would probably never again see the people I loved and who loved me. So I went home feeling isolated, lonely. For the next 2 years I struggled to find my place, tried to figure out what to do. I grieved for the people in Lesotho. And slowly, I began to realize that I loved the youth and my family (Hi Staffords) and my friends who had seen me and put up with me through so much and my church and the people in my village of Folsom. And for some strange reason, they already loved me. Even despite the fact that I was grieving for another place… another people. A long time ago they “gave me a solid shelter that I take with me for my entire life wherever I go.” And then I left. Not unexpectedly, but I left to start anew here in Azerbaijan. And at times it’s been tough. However I do find myself falling in love with the youth, my host family, my large village of Sheki….

I’m sure that when I leave here in 2 years I will grieve the people I leave behind. But its wonderful… a blessing… to know that I will go back to the people that helped create that shelter, which I will carry with me wherever I go.

My host mom in Lesotho

My host sister (in white) and neighbors in Lesotho

The amazing family I live with in Folsom

The awesome youth I got to volunteer with.

The youth in Azerbaijan

My host family

OLD VS NEW

Azerbaijan is a country which is in transition… so it seems. I stopped at shop the other day to purchase a few things. There was an electronic cash register. The numbers were blinking at me brightly. But the shop keeper didn’t use the register. She used and old, beat up wooden abacus. Do you remember those? Some days when I pass one of the many local meat shops during my walk to the university, I see a cow tied up in front of the store on the sidewalk. Then later during my walk home the live cow is gone replaced by a fresh haunch of meat hanging on a hook and the cow’s head sitting in front of it. There are internet cafes, wireless internet and smart phones. (Which I've been told has become more common fairly recently) There is public transport with 30 year old buses that are falling apart and sometimes you can even see the ground moving through the holes on the floor. There are sleek, shiny nice new cars zipping around. There is the older generation of people who are trying to hold onto and practice traditional Azerbaijani ways. (And, 20 years post Soviet rule, there are younger people trying to recover those traditions also) And of course, there is a younger generation that wants to see the world and learn all the new technology. There is the capital city of Baku which is very western, and my little city of Sheki which is paved with cobblestones.

Baku

Sheki

 Azerbaijan is a country which has experienced new development and technology. But some people are afraid of losing the old ways. Some talk to me about old traditions that define them that are no longer being practiced. They are afraid of development swallowing the traditional ways.

Technology brings opens people up to the outside world. Good new practices come through contact with everyone else….and sometimes bad new practices infect the good of old ways. I am 7000 miles away from home and I’m grateful to new technology that allows me to “chat” and see peoples photos and know what is going on in their lives. I love being able to use Skype to talk to people for free face to face. But when I am home, sometimes I use these ways to communicate with the people I love because it is easier… I am lazy. I lose the fact that looking into a person’s face and seeing how they really are is more important than the convenience of technology. And I do admit, sometimes receiving a letter that I can hold onto and look at… knowing that the person took the time to write it and mail it… that can be priceless!!

Old vs new…. Which one is better?  I think both are valuable and can help us grow in our humanity. What do you think? 

"Words create worlds"

Salam, (hello)

It’s been a while since my last blog entry. It’s been a time of settling in… and then settling in again. On Dec 7^th, the day after swearing in as a PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer) I moved to my new home in Azerbaijan. I moved to the small city (although it really feels like a small town) of Sheki. Sheki is in the northern part of Azerbaijan. It’s old, historic (places a couple of thousands of years old) beautiful, paved with cobblestones and a place that tourists come to. There are people who are well off, poor people and many in between. And most importantly for me at least, many youth to work with… many opportunities. Unlike my first PC experience, PC Azerbaijan requires volunteers to move in with a host family and stay for at least 4 months. They strongly encourage us to stay with host families for our entire service, but after 4 months we are free to find independent housing… if we can. After 2 weeks I had to move to a new host family and start over. (because of a couple of things that the house didn’t have which was in the PC contract) Starting over with a new host family was stressful. I didn’t really want to do it, because moving is hard and moving in with strangers is always a challenge (especially if you throw in the language barriers) But, after settling in some (still haven’t put up my pictures… that’s always my last step of “making home, home”) I’ve decided that this move was for the best. The new host family is wonderful, my room is great and meets PC expectation and I truly feel at home. So, it may be just about time to put up my pictures!

I’ve been in Sheki for about 5 weeks….Azerbaijan for almost 4 months. (23 to go) And in some ways it seems like it has been much longer. I’m not sure if that is a good or bad thing.  I came to Azerbaijan hoping that I can help. That I can make a difference with the youth here. I’m assigned to work (as my primary job) at the Sheki branch of the University of Languages. I’m working with university English students age 17 and older. They want to learn. The students and the university want me here. (which is not always a given) Even though there are definitely times of stress, times where language and culture is a barrier, times when I feel completely out of control (I hate that feeling, but being out of control is good for me) and times when I wonder if I can really make a difference… despite all of that (or maybe because of it) I am content. I get to work with kids. I can ask for nothing more.

Even though I’ve already begun activities with youth, my biggest concern is whether or not I can convince them that they have worth. That their opinions matter. I was listening to a sermon from my church on line (the joys of internet… much different than Lesotho!) and one of the things said was: “Words create worlds. What are my words creating?”  I’ve been thinking about that for weeks. With the Azerbaijani, are my words truthful and kind? Do they encourage and build up? And the same for my fellow PCV’s…This is a wonderful experience but it can be very stressful. People are coping with the challenges of living thousands of miles away from home, learning the culture, trying to communicate. PCV’s are supposed to be a family to each other. Am I a good friend to other PCV’s? Do I encourage? Do I support them?  If I am to be honest, the answer is (for both Azerbaijani and PCV’s) sometimes yes, sometimes no. Sometimes my words do build up, but sometimes I’m so wrapped up in my own problems that my words don’t build up… and are sometimes hurtful.

This is a quote that really says it: “The effect that words can have is incredible: to inform, persuade, hurt or ease pain, end war or start one, kill thousands or even millions of people. They can get your point across, or destroy any hope of your ideas ever being understood.”

This is something I will work on during my service… and for the rest of my life. What kind of worlds are my words creating?

Im sharing some pics: My new house and a few other random photos. I hope the New Year is getting off to a great start for everyone. I miss you all!!!

the wonderful mirror in my room

this bear has seen a lot of the world

the radiator (very uncommon) that keeps my room warm. In the backround on the upper left my water filter and the electric kettle to boil it

an extra bed in my room piled high with blankets that I must leave alone... part of my host sister's dowry

the crib in my room I use for storage

sitting room

my room in the middle. My host brothers is on the right, and my grandfathers is on the left

My squat toilet. Legs are getting strong

the hamam. the shower area with the fabulous wood burning stove which heats the water and keeps the room warm

pech (wood burning stove) in the teachers lounge

conversation club

university

university

host brother shoveling snow off the roof

one of the teachers at the university at her house for dinner

PCV's in sheki celebrating Shani's birthday (shani is in the middle)

Piti, cooked in the clay pot... very tasty

the road to my house

meat market in the bazar area... sheep heads

the market by my house

yes people eat all parts of the animal

my house. the nice green one:)

my room

big closets inside, not many shelves:)

Yeni Il. (new years)

The first president.

Parker and Shani on Christmas

a group of us at Xan Surray

Great look Parker

Scarves are big here 

Weighing the famous Sheki Halva

the owner who is in the pic in the backround

shani my site mate

These are characters out for new years

Happy New Years!

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve is a big deal for Azerbaijan. They have up New Year's trees, Santa Clause is walking around (shakta baba), lights are up in the city here in Sheki, boys are randomly throwing fire crackers around (sometimes startling) and people are getting ready to party... I think. (It looks a bit like Christmas here) Peace Corps has strongly encouraged us to stay with our host families for New Years. This will be our first holiday with our New Host families. I'm not sure what will happen. My family mentioned something about going to a concert here on New Year's eve. I have no clue when or where. I'll let you know how that goes.

Its been a little over 3 weeks here in Sheki. In many ways, everything feels new, exciting and a bit overwhelming. And in many ways, I cant believe it's only been 3 weeks. So far, work has gotten off to a good start. The students and English teachers are great. My counterpart is wonderful. Yesterday, I went to my first AzETA meeting. AzETA stands for "Azerbaijan English Teachers Association." Im going to give a little info from their web page:

"AzETA is a professional non-government, non-profit organisation of English teachers of Azerbaijan. It unites about 1,200 English teachers throughout the country...The Mission of the Association is to provide support for high quality education in ELT, professional development of English language teachers of the country. For this AzETA very closely co-operates with the Ministry of Education to make its contribution to the Education Reform Project implemented by the Government of Azerbaijan. The Ministry supports all AzETA activities. AzETA mainly co-operates with the Department of the High School and Pre-School Education in Rural Regions of Azerbaijan as the majority of AzETA members come from the rural regions....AzETA has a strategy of supporting ELT through different activities: teacher training, materials development, study tours, TV matinees, conversation groups, workshops, etc. ..."


There is more, but this is the gist. Yesterday, the Sheki branch met for the first time in a while. All of the new PCV's in the region were there to introduce ourselves and see how we can help. The teachers there are trying to do anything they can think of to give kids more and better opportunities to speak English. They also want to help English teachers learn new ways to teach. I think it is a great org. At the end of Jan, I will be teaching a life skills lesson of communication. Im looking forward to it and am a little nervous all at the same time.

Christmas was great. Some volunteers came into the region and we all cooked brunch together, had a white elephant gift exchange, did some sightseeing and had dinner together. A couple of us also read the Christmas story from the bible before the bigger group got together. It was a great reminder to me of so many things!

Unfortunately I will be moving on New Year's day. Ill pack up tomorrow and then somehow get to my new host family's on Tuesday. My current host family is great, but there was some stuff that PC requires (which I appreciate) that couldnt work out. So, I will miss them very much. They have been great. My new host family  is about a 10-15 minute walk away. Host mom and dad, grandfather and young adult brother and sister. I have a room upstairs and there is a living room to relax/ work in. I will have wi fi (yea... posh corps) but will be changing to a squat toilet. Ill probably be ready to catch fast pitch when I come back as I am working on those muscles. Im excited, nervous and really just want to be be settled. I have an Azerbaijan tutor who I see twice a week and she rocks!!!

Ill post some pics here from Christmas, the university new years party and the local internat party for kids who are living at a boarding type of home for a variety of reasons.

I miss everyone. If anyone wants to skype, send me an email and we will set up a time.

RR youth. Thanks for the card. I received it at a moment that it was important to remember who I am. I believe the timing was divine!!!

Happy New Years

University New years party

counterpart, Ulduz

Shakta baba. He's here for New Years

Christmas morning at Stephans

The view from the university

hanging out at Kathy's on christmas eve

white elephant

one of the white elephant gifts

cliff has gotten something from someones package from home

This does not need explaining

working hotel... they used to park the camels here

Working hotel

My sacramento neighbor... sans Giants shirt thank goodness!

a local mosque

cliff, one of my site mates

Fellow pcvs dave and fong

christmas dinner

party for internat... some orphans, some with physical problems

This is Elchin. He's a university student and great with little kids.